Got into Memphis at 8am courtesy of Delta (still the only direct flight to Memphis and a steal at $500 a ticket) and whisked off to the ever reliable Springhill Suites via Last Minute Transportation (superior service, as always).Afternoon Funk
Nothing gets a trip started like a some sailors jammin' to "Ride Sally Ride" and a hot dog from a cart!
Sylvia Landau gave an amazing presentation on Bowen's family systems theory. My new mantra: "I'm not being selfish, I'm fostering self-actualization." Seriously, I now have an explanation for why neither mom's Catholic or dad's Jewish guilt trips work on me and new rational for my relative lack of concern for doing what is expected. Of course, there is a fine line between ass and actualized, but it seems those who adopt a Machiavelli attitudes suffer fewer health issues and far more joy than those who take on the world's woes and feel compelled to do either everything for everybody or nothing for themselves. I must have had a self-care premonition since I already booked myself for a facial and reflexology at Rachel's for tomorrow afternoon! Some great points from the lecture:
- Who we are is defined by the family gossip
- You are just one bean in the soup
- Active listening gives the patient permission to do their own work and trust themselves
- Health is to become whole
- Saying nice words does not negate the impact of scary thoughts
- Get neutral, not guilty
- Psychosis can be an adaptive coping response
- Like matter, anxiety can neither be created or destroyed, rather it is projected and absorbed.
- Be a friend, not a blood sucker
- We run from reality as long as we can get away from it
- The system will try and change you back
- Cancers are cells in other systems' business
- Present mindfulness helps extinguish automatic role patterns and tolerate the familiar
- Feel your emotions, but don't get too sentimental
To top it off, we received a copy of Caterpillars Chrysalis to Butterflies: Humans Change Through the Family Process which Dr. Landau was kind enough to sign for me. Interestingly, we share "All the Way" in common, although Fred and I prefer the James Darren version to Sinatra's.
I am working my way through nearby fancy-town dining and had a lovely chat with the bartender about cocktails, sake, and bourbon. May I suggest the Memphis Passion Martini, Shrimp Spring Rolls, Beet Salad, Creme Brulee, and the Memphis French Martini should you care to visit?!
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